Finding Myself Again Outside Motherhood

Long gone are the days when my blog posts were lengthy essays with proper sentence structure. I’m a mom now. That means “my time” exists between Nate’s naps. He’s still on a two nap schedule, which is amazing, because I sleep during his first one and work during his second, but I am forever playing catch up because the entire rest of my day is spent running after Nate, cleaning up his incessant messes, making sure he’s fed, changed, bathed… And as soon as I put him to bed at 7pm, it’s time to put the apartment back together, make dinner for me and my husband, and get ready to do it all again starting at 6am the following morning.

I waited three long years to become a mom and I refuse to go back into an office job because I love my days with him at home, but I see now how easy it is to lose your sense of self in the daily grind. My husband gets home super late and I’m exhausted at the end of the day, so I rarely go to events anymore and keeping in touch with people has become quite the challenge. But my husband noticed how badly I needed “me time” recently, so he started pitching in with some morning shifts and even took Nate for the day a few times so I could make plans with friends, book a couple appointments, and spend some alone time wandering through the city. Let me tell you, nothing says freedom like going out to lunch without a stroller. I swear there were some moments this past week I even forgot I was a mom because of how easy it was to fall back into my old life. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing. It’s important to take time for yourself and every time I do, I remember who I was before motherhood and get re-inspired to continue growing my business. 2023, I think it’s gonna be a good one.

x Esther