White Mesh Dress // Love My Fiance, Hate Being Engaged

When my then-boyfriend and I discussed getting engaged, we imagined it would be bliss. We thought about how amazing it would be to take our relationship to the next level and how exciting it would be to plan a wedding. Nope!

Don’t get me wrong, we’re very happy to be moving our relationship forward and some aspects of wedding planning have been super fun, but for the most part, our lives took a very immediate, stressful turn. All of a sudden, people had opinions about our relationship and the way we live our lives. We experienced pressure to choose a wedding date, pick invitations, find a photographer… Friends had ideas about what color our wedding should be, why we should go with a different band, and even negative remarks about our wedding date (I’ll save that for another post). Someone’s always getting insulted about something and our schedules turned upside down trying to fit in venue tours and vendor meetings.

Date night isn’t as enjoyable anymore because it’s all wedding talk. Dealing with opposing opinions from our families isn’t fun either. Yet still, every time someone sees I’m engaged, their first question is, “Don’t you just love being engaged?!” No, not really.

Being engaged is like being in limbo. You’re getting ready to start your lives together, but you’re not quite there yet. You find yourself arguing about stupid things that you know won’t matter five years from now. You constantly have small decisions to make that seem monumental, like what font to use for your thank you cards. There’s a constant fear that your favorite vendors will be unavailable or astronomically over budget.

Even crazier than realizing that I don’t enjoy being engaged very much is the fact that almost every married or engaged person I speak to agrees! My friends have been sharing story after story about how their families fought, how their mothers-in law took control of the wedding planning, and how their relationships suffered. One of my friends even told me she almost called off the wedding because of the intense pressure. No one seems to talk about the miserable parts of being engaged though. 

Being engaged has gotten a lot better now that many of the big decisions have been figured out, but these are the best 3 tips I received about enjoying this part of your relationship.

1. Have date night once a week… No wedding talk allowed!
2. When it comes to the little details, ask yourself how much you’ll care about the outcome a year from now. Get some perspective.
3. Focus on the fun parts, like your bridal shower and bachelorette weekend.

OUTFIT BREAKDOWN:
White Mesh Dress: ASOS (c/o)
Mini Pink Bag: Zac Posen (c/o)
Aviator Sunglasses: Ray-Ban (c/o)
Cork Wedges: Dolce Vita

Photography: Chaya Ross

xx Esther