As someone who scoured the internet for every forum and Instagram post discussing 2ww symptoms, there’s really not much of interest for me to share from my dreaded two week wait. Following the transfer, I experienced extreme bloating, but it started going down on 5dpt (days past transfer), which also happened to be the same day I felt my first actual potential symptom - cramping. The cramping was very painful, but only lasted a minute max, so my anxiety skyrocketed when it subsided, assuming my transfer had failed and my period was coming.    

Prior to the cramping episode, I felt some minimal pulling in my abdomen 3 days post transfer and I was intensely tired, but that was it. I prayed for more signs that never came, but I also recognized that many women experience no symptoms at all before their BFPs. There’s no torture quite like not knowing if everything you worked for (let alone paid tens of thousands of dollars for) finally brought you your miracle baby. With a positive pregnancy test, every penny spent, every injection and blood test endured, the years waiting… it’s all worth it. But with a negative, despair hits. Deep. 

For so many women, there’s no option to just try again. Maybe for financial reasons. Maybe her egg supply has reached its end or her age just doesn’t allow for another cycle. Maybe she just can’t put herself through any more grief with no guarantee. Maybe she already tried multiple times, each round ending in failure. Sometimes it’s just time to move on, whether it be with adoption or simply accepting a childless life. Every option is valid, but you should recognize that a failed embryo transfer is not a normal negative pregnancy test. It is one of the worst days of an IVF warrior’s life. 

Sending love to all my fellow infertility warriors who made it this far and praying for our big fat positives!

xx Esther