{Monday thoughts} I’m pregnant, I’m grateful, I’m over the moon… and pregnancy announcements are still hard for me sometimes. Yea, they sting a lot less they did when I was dealing with the everyday pain of infertility, but every announcement is another reminder that while 1 in 8 couples struggle to get pregnant, 7 out of 8 don’t. ⁣

It doesn’t mean I’m not happy for other couples. I am! And I would never wish infertility on anyone. I’m very well aware that everyone struggles differently, but I just want to share the reality that comes after the trauma for so many of us.

A lot of people assume that because I’m pregnant, our diagnosis went away, but male factor infertility will always be a part of our lives. So when someone excitedly tells me how close our due dates are, I can’t help but think that while we both conceived around the same time, most likely only one of us had to suffer. And that this is probably the timeline she wanted, but I never had a choice. And when she’s ready for her next, I’ll be back at the doctor, praying we’ll be so lucky for IVF to work again. ⁣

Dealing with infertility is traumatic and pregnancy doesn’t take that away. Pregnancy has given me joy and purpose and inner peace, but infertility stole over two years of our lives and is already waiting to greet us again in the future. So I straddle both communities, tied to the pain that got me here, but excitedly standing alongside all my fellow mamas-to-be. ⁣

P.s. 2 weeks and 3 days to go!!!

xx Esther