You may think that self confidence and the blogger life go hand in hand, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. A certain sense of confidence is needed in order to put yourself out there online, open to judging eyes and a fair share of creeps, but that doesn’t mean you necessarily feel good doing so. I have never been super comfortable in front of the camera, but I simply accept it as a part of the job and lifestyle I chose. I am constantly forced to go out of my element to negotiate with brands, attend many events alone, and always be camera-ready.

I hadn’t thought too much about confidence and the blogging life until recently when I was interviewed by Fohr Card and question #9 was, “What has being an influencer done to your self image/self confidence?” I’m so used to being asked the same routine questions of why I started and how I define my style that it was actually quite refreshing to have to think for a second.

In some ways, I feel like a boss lady, running my own business and making money doing what I love, but in others, blogging has crushed my self esteem. It’s nearly impossible not to compare myself to other bloggers who started years after me, yet are now traveling the world on a company’s dime and receiving at least $1,000 per post. It’s a constant struggle not to let other people’s success define my own and instead let their success push me to work harder and dream bigger.

My husband is my biggest motivator and refuses to let me give up on my hardest days. He’s also the first one to congratulate me when I receive an amazing collab opportunity. No one said this life is easy, even though it may look that way on Instagram. We receive dozens of packages filled to the brim with new beauty products, restaurants invite us to dine for “free,” and we never have to buy clothes again if we don’t want to, but we also receive harsh criticism from people who don’t even know us, which can really hurt our self esteem.

We are often dismissed as freeloaders or fakes. We’re expected to work hard and meet deadlines, but so many companies refuse to pay us for our time. When you spend hours editing photos and receive negative feedback or when you create content for a brand that doesn’t value your work enough to pay, it’s hard to recognize your own worth. On the flipside, when you do make an incredible deal or receive an exuberant amount of likes on a photo you posted, you feel on top of the world.

The blogging life can seriously mess with your self-esteem, so the most important thing to do is learn how to disconnect your value as a human being from your success as a blogger. I’m still learning how to cut ties, but here are my best 3 tips for doing so.

1. Remember that you are more than your blog.
   Being a blogger is a 24/7 job. The work never ends, but at a certain point, you need to put your phone down and remember that your life doesn’t begin and end with your blog. I have a wonderful husband, family, and friends and they are all important too.

2. Make time for your loved ones.
   These are the people in your life who didn’t become friends with you because of your job title or the connections you have. They genuinely value your friendship and they’ll help remind you that your success doesn’t affect how they feel about you.

3. Think of the last three acts of kindness you did.
   Nothing works better as an ego boost than remembering yourself being charitable or kind. Hopefully these will be recent memories, but let them inspire you to continue bringing positivity into the world and remind you that you are a good person. You are more than what others see on social media.  

OUTFIT BREAKDOWN:
Yellow Sweatshirt: Zara
Black Zippered Pleather Skirt: ASOS (c/o)
Moonbeam Druzy Drop Earrings: Bauble Bar (c/o)
Black 712 Camera Bag: Henri Bendel (c/o)
Black Open Toe Booties: Banana Republic (c/o)

Photography: Jackie Baum

xx Esther