Planning a wedding was way more time consuming and detail oriented than I ever could have imagined. My mother took care of pretty much everything, but one thing I was completely in charge of was my guest list. I racked my brain and went through my phone’s address book 5 times to make sure I didn’t miss anyone. Once I had the list down, I started getting in touch with people. It was amazing catching up with old friends, some of whom I hadn’t spoken to in years. Weddings are expensive, so it’s totally normal only to invite the people you currently speak to, but I made my guest list based on everyone I wanted back in my life. I lost touch with so many friends over the years, but I went to their weddings in the past and I was excited to reconnect. My rule was that if I didn’t feel comfortable texting someone out of the blue that I got engaged, he or she wasn’t invited.

After sending out my save the dates, I got the biggest shock of my life. A lot of the people I thought would definitely make it to my wedding let me know that they actually wouldn’t be able to attend. Most of those friends had valid reasons like that they’d be out of town or that they just had a baby, but others didn’t even bother coming up with mediocre excuses. One of my “friends” said he would be too tired to come since his job is so demanding. I get it, I do, but I didn’t even think twice when I got his wedding invite in the mail a couple years back. It seemed as if many of my married friends had just moved on with their lives and didn’t want to inconvenience themselves, even after I had gone to their weddings without hesitation.

Our wedding ended up being the most beautiful wedding I’ve ever been to and we could not have asked for better weather. We were surrounded by almost 300 of our closest friends, a bunch of old friends, and almost our entire extended families, but even on the happiest day of my life, I couldn’t help but notice a few empty chairs. I just wish I had been prepared for the amount of people who wouldn’t bother to show up or even respond to our invitations. The venue we chose was gorgeous, we had a poolside open bar, and we even provided transportation there and back, so I never would have imagined that people I called my friends would just bail. Getting married is a big deal, so you think everyone else is just as excited to be a part of your big day, but sometimes life just gets in the way.

Apparently every bride deals with the same level of rejection and disappointment, but the experience was very eye opening. The next time I get a wedding invite, I won’t forget to send in my response card and I’ll be extra sensitive to the bride if I can’t make it because if she invited me, she probably really wanted me there. I won’t assume no one will notice if I attend or not and I definitely won’t RSVP and then not show up. I also hereby solemnly swear not to become one of those married ladies who forgets her single friends and purposefully misses their weddings.

OUTFIT BREAKDOWN:
Pink Palazzo Pants: Zara
White Ruffled Crop Top: Zara
Gold Jewelry: Henri Bendel (c/o)
Cork Wedges: Dolce Vita

Photography: Griffin Ungar

xx Esther